Terrorists: read the fine print!

by Michael West | Aug 28, 2017 | Business, Despatch

Terrorists and evil masterminds pursuing world domination are now on notice. They are required to inform paint-maker PPG Industries if their paint is to be used in rockets or chemical and biological weapons.

Nobody reads the fine print … well, almost nobody. One contact of this website is an exception though. He is the man who pointed out that if you buy something at Bunnings with your Bunnings store card, you have just given Bunnings a right over the title of your land now and forever.

Now our eagled-eyed-deep-throat has noticed that if you buy paint from paint company PPG Industries, you have to agree not to use your paint in any “nuclear, rocket systems, unmanned air vehicles or chemical biological weapons.

It says so quite clearly on the tax invoice.

If you do use your paint for chemical or biological weapons, or nuclear devices, rocket systems and unmanned air vehicles, you must notify PPG immediately. No fiendishly rubbing your hands together with an insidious smile, then running off and blowing things up without telling PPG; not on your nelly.

This represents a stern warning to terrorists and other demented villains of the world: turn yourselves in promptly to PPG, or else.

As this warning is inscribed on the small print of the docket, there was not a lot of sleuthing required. In the case of Bunnings however, our source had to dig into clause 13, sub-clause c). of the Bunnings PowerPass’ terms and conditions to find this:

(c) I particularly acknowledge that, under clause 13 of the PowerPass Usage Terms and Conditions, the Customer, in consideration of Bunnings accepting this application and in order to secure repayment of all moneys payable by the Customer to Bunnings, grants a charge, as beneficial owner and as trustee of any trust, in favour of Bunningsall of the Customer’s right, title and interest in land (held now or in the future, wherever located).

A good pick-up, though strangely it emerged that other hardware retailers also contain similar clauses in their fine print. It seems to be the work of a lawyer being overly fastidious and clocking up extra client hours, then perhaps other retailers mimicking the same T&Cs.

Michael West established Michael West Media in 2016 to focus on journalism of high public interest, particularly the rising power of corporations over democracy. West was formerly a journalist and editor with Fairfax newspapers, a columnist for News Corp and even, once, a stockbroker.

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