<!– by The Shovel –> The world’s media is grieving today, after realising it will have to fill its airtime with something other than inane stories about the life of Prince Philip. “It was a news event cut tragically short,” said Barbara...
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Government In Talks With Essendon FC To Learn How To Successfully Rollout Injection Program
<!– by The Shovel –> Health Minister Greg Hunt will meet with members of the Essendon Football Club next week, hoping to gain tips on how to successfully inject a large group of people quickly and effectively. “I think we can learn a lot actually,”...
Morrison Announces Plan C: Australians To Vaccinate Themselves
<!– by The Shovel –> Australians will administer their own COVID-19 vaccinations, as part of a new approach to the government’s rollout, starting today. Announcing the changes, Prime Minister Scott Morrison rejected claims that the new system was an...
Man Brings Book To Bed So It Can Sit Next To Him While He Looks At Phone
<!– by The Shovel –> Self-described ‘book lover’ Jeremy Randle took a novel with him to bed last night, so it could sit on his bedside table while he scrolled through his phone for 2.5 hours. The Sydney man said he had planned to read the first...
Christine Holgate Starting To Wish She’d Just Taken A Photo Up A Man’s Trousers
<!– by The Shovel –> Former Australia Post CEO Christine Holgate was kicking herself today, saying that she should’ve just taken an unsolicited, sexually inappropriate photograph of a stranger rather than awarding four executives a bonus watch. “What...
Man Who Had Brief Conversation With Prince Philip In 1964 Interviewed For Half An Hour By ABC
<!– by The Shovel –> A man who briefly chatted to Prince Philip at a function 57 years ago has been asked to reflect on the life and times of the monarch, as part of the ABC’s special coverage of the royal’s death. The man – who can’t remember...
Ben Roberts-Smith To Feature On Seven’s Dancing With The Stars
<!– by The Shovel –> Seven West Media boss Kerry Stokes has stepped in to help former soldier and burner phone enthusiast Ben Roberts-Smith, securing him a role on the network’s premier show Dancing With The Stars. The post Ben Roberts-Smith To...
Nation ‘At Front Of Queue’ Discovers It Is In Wrong Queue
<!– by The Shovel –> Australia has been patiently waiting in line for fresh doughnuts, it has been revealed. “They’re good doughnuts, they’re those really hot ones with lots of sugar on the outside, and there are some glazed ones available as well....
Making Inappropriate Jokes Is What Prince Philip Would Have Wanted
<!– by The Shovel –> Making slightly off jokes about a person’s appearance and background is exactly what the late Prince Philip would have wanted, aides have confirmed. “He always had that way of making you feel just a little bit awkward,” said a...
Prince Philip Died 12 Years Ago, Coroner Confirms
<!– by The Shovel –> Prince Philip passed away over a decade ago, a coroner’s report has confirmed. “There are no signs of life,” the report from 2009 says. Sources say the family kept the Prince around Buckingham Palace because they never had time...
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The Anzac myth and the Frontier Wars we wilfully ignore.
Conservatives and militarists want us to cling to a disastrous imperial war. They encourage us to focus on how our soldiers fought in order to avoid the central issue of why we fought. We fought in WW1 for Britain’s imperial interests not our own.The AIF was...
China’s geopolitical reach extends to Iran
After an attack on its main nuclear facility in Natanz on 11 April, quite likely by Israel, President Hasan Rouhani said that Iran will begin enriching uranium to 60 per cent. From a technical point of view, that would put Iran within a short sprint to full-fledged...
Rio Tinto needs more than Gorilla glue to repair its reputation
One of the challenges of issue management is the perception by some critics that it might be more about looking good rather than doing good. That’s certainly the test facing Rio Tinto attempting to piece together its reputation, shattered by the high-explosive...
Chinese propaganda has come to Indonesia, big time.
Before you book a flight to Aotearoa in the travel bubble, think again. There are other places with knockout scenery, higher mountains, clear lakes and splendid grasslands. The roads are straight and free of cluttering campervans. Better still, the sunny locals are...
I’ve got the Anzac Day Blues
Australia has never been the maker of its own history. So said the legendry Manning Clark, who spent a life mapping the heart of our nation. From the utterly worthless Sudan campaign of 1885 to the atrocity-ridden Afghanistan War of 2001-2013, our people have been...
